First of all, i present you with this:
Limited edition!
This is what happens when you say things:
Limited edition!
So what is it that makes girls and gay people go hysterical over Twilight? Now, I didn't say people who've watched Twilight or read the book are completely morons-sucking-dicks. I'm talking about people who sold their souls and are willing to eat Edward Cullen's shit, right there resting on where the apple should be.
This is what happens when you say things:
Hmm.. maybe not.A couple of days ago, i did an interview with a twilight fan. She was willing to answer all of questions without hesitating and i was impressed for once.
Me: How did you first gain interest in Twilight?
Twilightfan871: Easy. There was this Twilight cult. I thought it was pretty cool. They offer free noxious cookies. I didn't know what that meant, but i joined anyway 'cause it sounds cool.
Me: Nice, what did you guys do?
Twilightfan871: We did a lot of things, we bit each others' necks until we reach an artery. We painted our faces with white cum and use a lot of white dog shit as the whitening mask. Some people decided to go to the doctor and requested the extraction of their pigment so they become extremely pale! But they die of skin cancer after a few days.
Me: Interesting. In comparison of the book or the movie, which one do you prefer?
Twilightfan871: Well, none. You see, many people don't realize that they now sell penises that have the exact shape of Edward Cullen's ding dong. Biologists are trying to preserve the vampire's penis for the good of 'womenkind.' And since they successfully chopped off his penis and acquired the DNA, they made lots of clone out of it. I have my very own Edward Cullen penis. Look.
Me: Wow, that's really tiny.
Twilightfan871: Yeah, but at least it does tingle a bit. It's the thought that counts.
Me: Next question, will you eat Edward Cullen's shit?
Twilightfan871: You kidding me? I keep a huge sewer next to my house and store all his diamond shit innit. It taste like pork.. gotta love it.
Me: What would you do, if Edward Cullen is standing in your room right now?
Twilightfan871: Rape.
Such an interesting person, and yeah that's the end of it.
Me: How did you first gain interest in Twilight?
Twilightfan871: Easy. There was this Twilight cult. I thought it was pretty cool. They offer free noxious cookies. I didn't know what that meant, but i joined anyway 'cause it sounds cool.
Me: Nice, what did you guys do?
Twilightfan871: We did a lot of things, we bit each others' necks until we reach an artery. We painted our faces with white cum and use a lot of white dog shit as the whitening mask. Some people decided to go to the doctor and requested the extraction of their pigment so they become extremely pale! But they die of skin cancer after a few days.
Me: Interesting. In comparison of the book or the movie, which one do you prefer?
Twilightfan871: Well, none. You see, many people don't realize that they now sell penises that have the exact shape of Edward Cullen's ding dong. Biologists are trying to preserve the vampire's penis for the good of 'womenkind.' And since they successfully chopped off his penis and acquired the DNA, they made lots of clone out of it. I have my very own Edward Cullen penis. Look.
Me: Wow, that's really tiny.
Twilightfan871: Yeah, but at least it does tingle a bit. It's the thought that counts.
Me: Next question, will you eat Edward Cullen's shit?
Twilightfan871: You kidding me? I keep a huge sewer next to my house and store all his diamond shit innit. It taste like pork.. gotta love it.
Me: What would you do, if Edward Cullen is standing in your room right now?
Twilightfan871: Rape.
Such an interesting person, and yeah that's the end of it.
Seriously people. Suck a dick or die.
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